About The Cats In The Flat

Name: Darcy Kelly
Date of Birth: 22nd November 2005 (age two)
Colouring: Black and white with black nose “smudge”
Nicknames: Darce, Smudge, Smudgey Princess, Princess, Kitten, Little Darcy, Darcy McDarcy Face, Angel, Angel Pie, Angel Whiskers, “my daughter” (said by Paul), “my baby girl” (said by Toni)
Distinguishing features: Black smudge on nose, white fur “collar” around neck, is very small
Hobbies: Snarfling, having cubbies, basking in front of the heater, going insane, chasing her tail, spacking, chasing and killing anything insect that moves
Good at: Hunting, killing things, jumping, running around like a mad wee thing
Bad at: Being normal sized, miaowing
Good habits: Letting out squeaky miaows when she wants attention
Bad habits: Licking lightbulbs, digging claws into Toni when happy
Is happiest when… She’s in a cubby or basking. (A “cubby” is something special to Darcy. It entails Toni sitting with her legs crossed, creating a snug little space in between, which Darcy absolutely loves to sit in. She gets very demanding about her cubbies and has been known to yip happily when in one)
Personality: Fairly timid (compared to the boys), loves to run around and play, more highly strung than an tennis racket
Likes: Beef flavoured food, mackarel, peas, oats (we know, she’s mad), flies, spiders, strawberry milkshake
Dislikes: Fireworks, loud noises, sudden movements
Calls Austin: Austin
Calls Donncha: Bruv, Donncha, Demon, the idiot, my idiot brother
Calls Toni: Mummy
Calls Paul: Daddy
Funniest moment: When aged about three months, she picked up a piece of chicken bigger than her head and ran along with it, growling loudly
Stupidest moment: When she licked the lightbulb and burnt her tongue
Proudest moment: Catching two flies in the space of ten minutes
Cutest moment: When she was eating chicken, had had enough, and yowled to call her brother over to it (we nearly died at how cute that was)

Name: Donncha Kelly
Date of Birth: 22nd November 2005 (age two)
Colouring: Black and white with black under chin smudge
Nicknames: Demon, idiot, stupid, idiot boy
Distinguishing features: Little pink nose, under chin smudge, bat shit crazy
Hobbies: Miaowing loudly for no reason, posing for photos, being stupid, chasing his sister, rugby tackling Paul’s legs, cuddling up to Toni, getting on things, getting inside things
Good at: Mioawing, knocking things over, setting new records for idiocy, being a Mummy’s boy
Bad at: Stalking, hunting, basic motor skills, anything requiring a modicum of intelligence, observing personal space
Good habits: Cuddling up and throwing himself at Mummy
Bad habits: Sniffing lightbulbs, getting on top of another cat when they’re sleeping, peeing on the bed
Is happiest when… Inside a box, snuggled on Mummy
Personality: Absolutely insane but absolutely adorable, Donncha isn’t the sharpest tool in the box, but we accept his general lack of intelligence as his affection and humour makes up for it
Likes: Mummy, enclosed spaces, any food ever, being held
Dislikes: Mummy sneezing
Calls Austin: Austin, Sir, Dude
Calls Darcy: Sis, Darcy
Calls Toni: Mummy
Calls Paul: Daddy
Funniest moment: Attempting to jump into a glass-fronted cabinet, smacking off it and landing in a heap
Stupidest moment: When watching a spider run across the floor, he walked over and picked it up. He then walked onto his bed, deposit the spider in front of him, and kept watching it. It apparently didn’t occur to him to eat it.
Proudest moment: When we thought he’d finally managed to catch a fly by himself, then realised it was already dead (his sister had killed it) and he’d just picked it up
Cutest moment: He’s so besotted with Toni, whenever he’s around her he throws himself at her and into her arms, looking up at her adoringly, and being unbelievably cute with it.

Name: Austin Moody-Murphy
Date of Birth: July 1st 2000 (age seven)
Colouring: Black and black alone
Nicknames: Oz, Sir, Moody-Murf, big lad, Giant, Moody-Kursk
Distinguishing features: None. He’s just big. And black.
Hobbies: Plotting the downfall of the human race, fighting Donncha, plotting wars, assembling bombs, light genocide
Good at: Sleeping, comforting you when you’re down, tolerating Donncha
Bad at: Miaowing in a convincingly masculine manner
Good habits: Being a shoulder to cry on when you’re down
Bad habits: Biting Darcy occasionally, spending ages digging in the litter trays, zealous punishment of his Army of The Night
Is happiest when… Looking out of the window, plotting his takeover of the world
Personality: Outwardly hostile, reserved, a little bit angry, likes plotting wars, considers himself superior to all other beings… but on the flip, he’s a bit softie really, but he doesn’t like anyone to know it
Likes: Massacres, any seafood flavoured
Dislikes: Donncha (or so he says)
Calls Donncha: The Little Moron
Calls Darcy: Darcy, wenchBR> Calls Toni: Human Unit Number One, Toni
Calls Paul: Human Unit Number Two, Paul, Dude, Mate, Ginger
Funniest moment: When he smacked a dangly toy then pelted away from it at full speed for apparently no reason
Stupidest moment: Austin Moody-Murphy doesn’t do stupid.
Proudest moment: Just existing.
Cutest moment: When he was sniffing a Pot Noodle… you had to be there to appreciate how outrageously cute it was!

The Humans!

Antonia and Paul Kelly are a husband and wife team who share their Leicester flat with the three cats above. They love their cats much more than is normal and don’t care who knows it or calls them losers.

Toni is closest to Donncha (her “baby”) and Paul is Austin’s best friend, with Darcy splitting equally between the two.

They spend much too much money and time on their cats, but wouldn’t have it any other way.

You can read their blogs by clicking on their links. They married in 2005 and are currently setting up Emerald, an umbrella company encasing all of their business, blogging and service ideas.